May 2025 recap
Hi there! This is my montly blog post that I keep telling myself I'd like to write. I am a day late, but that is ok. This isn't a happy post, but I don't think any of my writing is completely happy. That is just how my brain works. Apologies in advanced, but hopefully it brings some solace to some who are also in a similar situation.
May was rough, but I was already feeling terrible all of April. My work life was already in shambles. I never had a weekend off. Then I was scheduled to work 7 days straight. I started on a Thursday, and was scheduled through the next Friday. I thought I could make it, but on the 7th day I finally had a panic attack.
It was inevitable, honestly. Every shift I'd go in feeling miserable about the work and the people. Working food service is a terrible place for an introvert. Every day was over-stimulating. Every interaction was draining. Everything I was hearing made me hate my situation more and more. Until it became enough and I broke down in the back room, sobbing uncontrollably. In that moment, I resorted back to the 14-year-old that would stay silent whenever prompted a question. I wanted to speak, but I couldn't. They let me go home early that day. The next shift I had, I cried again. And again. I really wanted to leave this job, but with no other job lined up it wasn't the smartest decision. I still have bills and rent to pay.
On top of my day job, all of April I had been stressing about the direction I wanted to go with my art. Being multi-passionate is overwhelming. I want to run a sticker shop, I want to animate, I want to character design, I want to rig vtuber models, I want to livestream, etc. etc.
I settled on filing for a Leave of Absence. I was nervous about it at first, but everyone has been super understanding and supportive about it. I'm taking this Leave to take an extended break from the day job, and to re-align myself, artistically. I would like to find that creative task to pursue. A path I'd pour all my focus into by the time the break is over. Whether that is continuing with the sticker shop, streaming with a Vtuber, or even creating Vtuber models. Maybe I'll go back to my roots and pursue 2D animation. Only time can tell, I hope people join along for this ride.
On a lighter note, here are some May favorites!
Waddle Dee
I had finally dedicated a little corner on my desk to Waddle Dee. Kirby is cute and all, but the bright orange and silent personality is really cute. One of the figures was on sale because everyone only went for Kirby, so I rescued him :') I hope the shrine grows!
Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time
This game has been an absolute joy! I had played the original 3DS version, so I was pretty excited about it finally having a (proper) sequel! The charm from the original is still there, and they added a whole lot more! I still haven't completed the story because I am taking my time with everything there is to do. It's kind of like an MMO, in a way. There are a handful of Combat, Crafting, and Gathering "Lives" to level up. I had tried the online multiplayer for the first time with my friend. It was so silly and it's a great time to gather resources and fight monsters together.
Mori Calliope
I really fell into the Hololive V-tuber rabbit hole this month. The recent graduations from Mumei and Gura finally made me look into the other talents. This last week in particular I listened to Mori's music and song covers. Her voice is so pleasing, and her recent release "Die for You" is my song of the month. There's something so endearing and haunting about the sound: heavy bass, electronic beats, and raspy/airy lyrics. I can't help but dance to the song when the chorus drops.